I can't believe it has been a week since I last posted! My intention was to post every day Chris receives some sort of treatment. That's not happening! Oh well...
So, last week was Chris's long treatment week. He handled it really well, considering that it IS chemo he is receiving. I always laugh because whenever anyone asks Chris how he's feeling, he is so enthusiastic with his responses- "can't complain!" "Doing well!" This attitude serves him well I think. I was joking with my sister-in-law this weekend that I would be the complete opposite. I would be curled up in a blanket all day, feeling sorry for myself, moping....not Chris thankfully. He is getting us both through this!!
Chemo finally caught up with Chris this weekend. Not sure what exactly happened but he hit a definite wall. A big, brick one. Yesterday and today have been particularly bad. He has nausea, headache, body aches, and chills. He told me today that he can't even "fake it". He feels that sick. To top it off, he had his bleo injection today. This is the one med he gets during his "off" weeks. He has been in bed for most of the past 48 hours, only coming out to see the kids and eat.
Tomorrow will be better. Thanks for reading.
Katie
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Hold on tight, here comes some "deep thoughts from Katie!"
Chris went home from chemo last night feeling really good. A little tired, but that didn't stop him from taking the kids to Kyle's baseball game. This was extra nice for me as I got to enjoy a romantic homemade (delicious, kb!) dinner for 1. I even got a run in. I HAD to get a run in after the large amount of chicken bora bora that I consumed. So good! Kyle came home bursting to tell me that 1) he is the best hitter on his team (so modest, and a little bit of an exaggerator!) and 2) that a girl on his team has a crush on him. How could she resist my sweet, funny little toe-head?!? Grace, I totally get it!
Today is a big day for Cameron and I-last brownie meeting of the year. I have to admit, I was pretty much forced into helping to lead her troop this year. 1 did brownies for only 1 year when I was little and I never really considered myself a brownie-type girl, Whatever that means!! But cam really wanted to do it and she needed a troop leader. So, 3 of us came together and here we are on the verge of the last meeting of the year! I can say now that I had NO real idea of what being a troop co-leader would entail or all the great things that Girl Scouts promotes. Cameron and her friends have learned a lot about hardwork, teamwork, sales, cooperation, volunteering, giving back, money management, yoga, pottery, bird classification, etc. Most importantly, she is in a group with 11 other smart and fun little girls that she gets to traverse through the rest of her schooling with. I'm so happy that she will have that support! I tell you all this for a purpose. This whole health scare has made me to stop and appreciate every little part of my life so much more. Brownies is just one example. Stick with me and I'll eventually explain what I mean.
About the time Chris was diagnosed, I received a book from a friend (thanks, jill,) entitled the Happiness Project. It is a great book and one I will surely pick up again soon. I have to tell you that when I first got the book and started reading, it struck me in deeper ways than I'm sure the author intended. I didn't read too much before I became overwhelmed by the content. All of you who have read this book are probably laughing as you read this because I'm SURE I missed the point. What I read was basically that you need to get your life in order in an attempt to be happy. I also read that having your life in "order" helps get you through harder, more stressful times. This is when I panicked(for lack of a better word). I had been cleaning, purging, organizing the house for weeks. Chris and I had finally decided to finish our 2 bonus bedrooms and bathroom. I started volunteering at the school more, and meeting more people. I made new friends. And then.... Chris got cancer. I now look back at all the things I did to bring order to my life as a little nudge from God to have things in place, because a storm was coming. Now that my house had less extra junk and there was a designated spot for everything we did keep, cleaning was easier. The kids can help. Family can help. Now that the bonus rooms are done, friends and family have a place to stay. Brandon and Brent got to come and stay the Saturday before the start of chemo to distract Chris and lift his spirits. (It meant a lot, guys!). If we need help overnight, family has a place to stay. We met some great people during the building process. The poor builder even ended up being the one to talk me off the ledge the morning we got bad news. And the new friends I made and the relationships that we strengthened-these people have made all the difference!! They have put together meal donation lists( Megan), donated warm home cooked meals to my family when they were likely to have gotten only cereal or fast food from me(too many friends to mention), rides and play dates for my kids(you know who you are!), texts, cards, phone calls to check in (all of you). I'm sure I'm missing a lot of what you all have done and I've strayed away from giving shout outs in my blog posts because I'm sure to miss things. I'm sure I have! But all you all have done has been noticed and appreciated more than you will ever know!
This brings me back to brownies... I told you I'd bring it full circle:) Being a brownie co-leader has been an unexpected gift! I met great girls with great parents who I may not have otherwise gotten to know. And the meetings were a FUN distraction. But most importantly, I gained some great friends who have meant so much to me through this process. And the sad thing is, that we may never have gotten to know each other well enough to be friends if it hadn't been for brownies. Melissa, kiersten, and katrina-thank you! At the beginning of the year, my intention as far as Girl Scouts was concerned was one and done! I think I changed my mind...
This brownie diatribe is just one small example of a change in perspective that this cancer diagnosis has afforded me. Cancer sucks! It sucks when it strikes anyone. It sucks more when it hits the one you love most in the world. But for me, this difficult experience has also given me and my family lots of gifts.
Thank you
Today is a big day for Cameron and I-last brownie meeting of the year. I have to admit, I was pretty much forced into helping to lead her troop this year. 1 did brownies for only 1 year when I was little and I never really considered myself a brownie-type girl, Whatever that means!! But cam really wanted to do it and she needed a troop leader. So, 3 of us came together and here we are on the verge of the last meeting of the year! I can say now that I had NO real idea of what being a troop co-leader would entail or all the great things that Girl Scouts promotes. Cameron and her friends have learned a lot about hardwork, teamwork, sales, cooperation, volunteering, giving back, money management, yoga, pottery, bird classification, etc. Most importantly, she is in a group with 11 other smart and fun little girls that she gets to traverse through the rest of her schooling with. I'm so happy that she will have that support! I tell you all this for a purpose. This whole health scare has made me to stop and appreciate every little part of my life so much more. Brownies is just one example. Stick with me and I'll eventually explain what I mean.
About the time Chris was diagnosed, I received a book from a friend (thanks, jill,) entitled the Happiness Project. It is a great book and one I will surely pick up again soon. I have to tell you that when I first got the book and started reading, it struck me in deeper ways than I'm sure the author intended. I didn't read too much before I became overwhelmed by the content. All of you who have read this book are probably laughing as you read this because I'm SURE I missed the point. What I read was basically that you need to get your life in order in an attempt to be happy. I also read that having your life in "order" helps get you through harder, more stressful times. This is when I panicked(for lack of a better word). I had been cleaning, purging, organizing the house for weeks. Chris and I had finally decided to finish our 2 bonus bedrooms and bathroom. I started volunteering at the school more, and meeting more people. I made new friends. And then.... Chris got cancer. I now look back at all the things I did to bring order to my life as a little nudge from God to have things in place, because a storm was coming. Now that my house had less extra junk and there was a designated spot for everything we did keep, cleaning was easier. The kids can help. Family can help. Now that the bonus rooms are done, friends and family have a place to stay. Brandon and Brent got to come and stay the Saturday before the start of chemo to distract Chris and lift his spirits. (It meant a lot, guys!). If we need help overnight, family has a place to stay. We met some great people during the building process. The poor builder even ended up being the one to talk me off the ledge the morning we got bad news. And the new friends I made and the relationships that we strengthened-these people have made all the difference!! They have put together meal donation lists( Megan), donated warm home cooked meals to my family when they were likely to have gotten only cereal or fast food from me(too many friends to mention), rides and play dates for my kids(you know who you are!), texts, cards, phone calls to check in (all of you). I'm sure I'm missing a lot of what you all have done and I've strayed away from giving shout outs in my blog posts because I'm sure to miss things. I'm sure I have! But all you all have done has been noticed and appreciated more than you will ever know!
This brings me back to brownies... I told you I'd bring it full circle:) Being a brownie co-leader has been an unexpected gift! I met great girls with great parents who I may not have otherwise gotten to know. And the meetings were a FUN distraction. But most importantly, I gained some great friends who have meant so much to me through this process. And the sad thing is, that we may never have gotten to know each other well enough to be friends if it hadn't been for brownies. Melissa, kiersten, and katrina-thank you! At the beginning of the year, my intention as far as Girl Scouts was concerned was one and done! I think I changed my mind...
This brownie diatribe is just one small example of a change in perspective that this cancer diagnosis has afforded me. Cancer sucks! It sucks when it strikes anyone. It sucks more when it hits the one you love most in the world. But for me, this difficult experience has also given me and my family lots of gifts.
Thank you
Monday, May 20, 2013
Ding dong
The witch (cancer!) is dead!!! Yep, you read that right:). Chris had bloodwork done today. They tested his tumor markers, which for Chris is HCG. Prior to surgery he was at 400. After surgery, but prior to chemo, he was at 208. Today.... <0.1 which is as low as it could ever be!! Basically, his tumors produce/cause elevated HCG. So, following those levels helps the doctor see if treatment is working. If HCG goes down, it means the meds are working. The nurse was pleasantly surprised by how well Chris responded to treatment!! He does have to continue through the next 2 cycles but it is such a relief to know that the cancer is being eradicated!
His white blood cell count, platelets, etc are still looking good!
If you are keeping track, Chris has now beaten cancer TWO times:)
His white blood cell count, platelets, etc are still looking good!
If you are keeping track, Chris has now beaten cancer TWO times:)
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Post of the day, part 2
Here's a quick update for those who are curious. Chris actually handled today's treatment really well! Phew! We got home around 11:30 and he napped for 3 hours. He woke up feeling pretty good! He has a week to recover until cycle #2 begins. 1 down, 3 to go!
Goodnight,
Katie
Goodnight,
Katie
No news=good news
I know, I know. I haven't written a post in a week. I apologize (sorry Jeff and Dave! I heard you guys "live" for the blog). I'll do better. The good news is that I didn't post anything because Chris did really well last week. Everyday after Monday was better than the day before. The only change was that Chris did develop some mouth sores. So, his diet changed to include a lot of jello, applesauce, yogurt, etc. He began doing a homemade mouth rinse consisting of baking soda and salt and that seemed to help a little. As of today, the sores have mostly gone away. Chris's nurse ordered a special mouthwash too that should also help.
As we speak, Chris is with his nurse who is starting his bleomycin infusion. Chris has been dreading this all week as this is the medicine that caused him to be so ill last Monday. The good news is that the nurse is giving him some Benadryl and extra fluids with the medicine and this will hopefully limit the side effects. He also took some Tylenol and we will keep him on this all day. Cross your fingers, send up some prayers!
On a side note, Chris decided that he should plant a 600 lb tree by himself this weekend. Everything sounds easier in your mind than when you actually try to put the plans into action. We had a few "challenges" but he got it done! I'm sure the neighbors were looking out their windows thinking "what the heck! And why are we bringing them meals.!?!?!" I can assure you that he does in fact have cancer and although I should probably try to discourage him from these grandiose activities, I actually try to encourage them. Well, maybe not planting 600 lb trees, but work, golf, a beer with his buddies, etc. I know Chris well and the best thing for him is to carry on with business as usual. As the nurses here like to say, "life goes on." Cancer doesn't stop all of life's other happenings. Although sometimes I wish they could be placed on pause:). To that point, I will say that I appreciate the meals more than even Chris does. My brain thinks cancer and chemo and that's pretty much it right now. The rest of life's details are on auto pilot. Meals are often an after thought and thanks to all of you wonderful friends and family, my kids and husband are assured a healthy home cooked meal at least 3 times a week! I have some guilt about the meals and all the other extra help we are receiving from family and friends. My sister and I had a talk about this on Friday when I was feeling particularly guilty. The fact is, I COULD do it. But I am a soooo very thankful that I don't need to!
I will do another post tonight or tomorrow to let you know how Chris responded to the bleo this week.
Enjoy the sunshine today!
Katie
As we speak, Chris is with his nurse who is starting his bleomycin infusion. Chris has been dreading this all week as this is the medicine that caused him to be so ill last Monday. The good news is that the nurse is giving him some Benadryl and extra fluids with the medicine and this will hopefully limit the side effects. He also took some Tylenol and we will keep him on this all day. Cross your fingers, send up some prayers!
On a side note, Chris decided that he should plant a 600 lb tree by himself this weekend. Everything sounds easier in your mind than when you actually try to put the plans into action. We had a few "challenges" but he got it done! I'm sure the neighbors were looking out their windows thinking "what the heck! And why are we bringing them meals.!?!?!" I can assure you that he does in fact have cancer and although I should probably try to discourage him from these grandiose activities, I actually try to encourage them. Well, maybe not planting 600 lb trees, but work, golf, a beer with his buddies, etc. I know Chris well and the best thing for him is to carry on with business as usual. As the nurses here like to say, "life goes on." Cancer doesn't stop all of life's other happenings. Although sometimes I wish they could be placed on pause:). To that point, I will say that I appreciate the meals more than even Chris does. My brain thinks cancer and chemo and that's pretty much it right now. The rest of life's details are on auto pilot. Meals are often an after thought and thanks to all of you wonderful friends and family, my kids and husband are assured a healthy home cooked meal at least 3 times a week! I have some guilt about the meals and all the other extra help we are receiving from family and friends. My sister and I had a talk about this on Friday when I was feeling particularly guilty. The fact is, I COULD do it. But I am a soooo very thankful that I don't need to!
I will do another post tonight or tomorrow to let you know how Chris responded to the bleo this week.
Enjoy the sunshine today!
Katie
Monday, May 6, 2013
Week 2
Chris managed to make the trek up north with the kids this weekend. He went out fishing Saturday night and Sunday morning. I really can't think of much worse than getting in a rocking boat for several hours while feeling nauseous. But Chris did it, and he will tell you that the worst part wasn't how he felt but that they didn't catch hardly anything.
Today started with us again racing to make it to chemo on time. Chris made it, but I was late as I had forgotten to find a place for the kids to go. Chris had some bloodwork done. Apparently his white blood cell count was too high? What?!? The neulasta shot must have worked! Then, we were led to the back where his infusion was to take place. Today Chris only received the B part of his BEP chemotherapy medications. It was a Short infusion-10 minutes only- and then we were sent on our way. We split up, Chris heading home to work and me running some errands. All seemed well. Then, three hours after the treatment, Chris called me to say he wasn't feeling well and needed to lay down. By the time I returned 45 minutes later, he was in pretty bad shape. I found him in bed, covered in blankets, shaking like crazy. He had a fever and couldn't warm up. We got some meds in him and I did some research to make sure this was a normal reaction. It was. I thought about calling the nurse, but we waited it out and 45 minutes later he started to remove some of the layers covering him.
It is 10 PM as I write this and Chris has definitely improved since this afternoon. He had a good dinner and has kept Tylenol and ibuprofen in his system. He is running a low grade fever, but we are hanging out and he seems to be doing okay.
Tomorrow is another day, and as Chris just said "it's gotta be better than today! Can't get worse"..... I hope not!
Have a great night,
Katie
Today started with us again racing to make it to chemo on time. Chris made it, but I was late as I had forgotten to find a place for the kids to go. Chris had some bloodwork done. Apparently his white blood cell count was too high? What?!? The neulasta shot must have worked! Then, we were led to the back where his infusion was to take place. Today Chris only received the B part of his BEP chemotherapy medications. It was a Short infusion-10 minutes only- and then we were sent on our way. We split up, Chris heading home to work and me running some errands. All seemed well. Then, three hours after the treatment, Chris called me to say he wasn't feeling well and needed to lay down. By the time I returned 45 minutes later, he was in pretty bad shape. I found him in bed, covered in blankets, shaking like crazy. He had a fever and couldn't warm up. We got some meds in him and I did some research to make sure this was a normal reaction. It was. I thought about calling the nurse, but we waited it out and 45 minutes later he started to remove some of the layers covering him.
It is 10 PM as I write this and Chris has definitely improved since this afternoon. He had a good dinner and has kept Tylenol and ibuprofen in his system. He is running a low grade fever, but we are hanging out and he seems to be doing okay.
Tomorrow is another day, and as Chris just said "it's gotta be better than today! Can't get worse"..... I hope not!
Have a great night,
Katie
Friday, May 3, 2013
I think I'll Pass!
Today was the last day of the first week of Chris's chemotherapy. Glad to have that one behind us! While he won't be receiving any chemo drugs this weekend, He does go in for a quick shot tomorrow. The neulasta shot really shouldn't be a big deal. Chris could feel some joint Achiness as the bone marrow starts to work to produce more healthy white blood cells but that's it. I'm pretty sure he would pick that over nausea any day!
Today Chris woke up feeling much like he did yesterday. He was nauseated all day and his appetite was pretty much zero. However, he knows the importance of getting in good nutrition and hydration so I didn't have to nag him TOO much. Chris wasn't able to work today, but he got in several good naps. I walked away for a couple minutes this morning so I could mail some letters and I couldn't help but laugh when I returned. Chris had retired to his own private "room" for a nap.
Today Chris woke up feeling much like he did yesterday. He was nauseated all day and his appetite was pretty much zero. However, he knows the importance of getting in good nutrition and hydration so I didn't have to nag him TOO much. Chris wasn't able to work today, but he got in several good naps. I walked away for a couple minutes this morning so I could mail some letters and I couldn't help but laugh when I returned. Chris had retired to his own private "room" for a nap.
Our cubicle neighbor mentioned that Chris reminded her of her 4 yr old son. Hmmmm....
As lousy as Chris feels, I actually think he is handling his treatment really well. If you didn't know him well, you might not even know how lousy he feels. He's making jokes, helping around the house even though I tell him not to, and is even going to attempt fishing with his brother tomorrow. He really is trying to carry on with his normal routine, only with a few more naps and meds along the way. I'm really proud of him!
I feel like I need to put out a disclaimer to everyone whose path I may cross over the next 8 weeks. If I stare at you blankly while you try to tell me something simple like how to reheat a meal, or if I forget to return your text or call you back, or even if my kids show up to school in all sorts of crazy outfits and dirt on their faces, please forgive me. People joke about chemo brain. I think I have it. Seriously.
Now for the story behind the title of this post. Chris and I arrived to the lovely oncology unit today at 8:30 am. We had been rushing to arrive on time and Chris was feeling pretty crappy. He hadn't said much all morning and I was trying to respect the fact that he probably just needed some time to himself. So, we were sitting in silence waiting our turn as person after person was called back for their treatment. Out of the silence that was between us Chris says in a very flat tone "I think I'll pass today." What?! I ask. I have no idea what he is talking about. With a deadpan expression, He repeats himself saying, " I think when the nurse calls my name, I'm just going to pass." I'm hoping you can imagine the inflection in his voice and the half smirk he gave me as he said it the second time, because it was hilarious. I'm not sure how appropriate it is to start laughing hysterically in the waiting room of an oncology unit, but I did it anyway. Even in the throes of illness, Chris can effortlessly lighten the mood and make me laugh.
Have a great weekend!
Katie
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Bring on the ginger....
Well, at least my ginger arsenal won't go to waste! Chris is having a less than stellar morning. But we pumped him full of anti-nausea meds (and ginger tea!) and I'm hoping that when he wakes up from his little siesta that he will feel much better. It is so helpful to have caring people in our lives and on days like this, especially survivors who have been there/done that. We got a great recommendation to set up a med schedule and stick to it, even if Chris is feeling ok. I'm on it. I'll use any excuse to make a list! (michele, I know you get this!). On a personal note, it sucks to watch Chris feel so crappy. It's not like we weren't expecting it, but now that it's here, I can't say that I was prepared for it emotionally. As a friend keeps reminding me, this yuckiness is temporary. And it is oh so worth it! And I'm thankful for the 2 weeks "off" so Chris will have time to recover from this intense treatment.
On a positive note: it's beautiful outside, I'm rockin' my happy green capris, and we have the room with a view again today:)
Katie
On a positive note: it's beautiful outside, I'm rockin' my happy green capris, and we have the room with a view again today:)
Katie
The patio
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Room with a view
Day three
We are gradually moving up the food chain. Our cubby today comes with a view of downtown Grand Rapids. Here's a pic of Chris in his temporary office. He hasn't stopped working. I think it's good for him to keep on with his everyday activities. In the background you can kind of see the view. Right out that window is the patio that we are about to head out onto. Looking forward to taking in some of the sun and 80 degree weather!
Chris woke up with nausea this morning. They pumped him full of anti-nausea meds and he is feeling a little better. Here's to hoping tomorrow is better!
Katie
Katie
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